Monday, August 15, 2011

Ma -- did you have to leave us so soon?

Ma in Rishikesh
On the morning of July 25 I was busy drafting the next post for this blog. My mum meanwhile was in the kitchen preparing something delicious with mushrooms, when I asked her what she was cooking; she replied “I just thought up this recipe, would you like to taste it?” I tasted it, it was delicious, I said, “Ma this goes into my blog”. “Okay dear,” she replied, “I have more such recipes ticking in my brain for your blog”. Happy and contented at watching my energetic mum, who had this insatiable zest for life (she sometimes gave me a complex), I went back to polish up the post.
My mum preferred not to visit doctors; she said “I am fine; you take care of your health.” No medicines, no visits to the doctor or hospital. She never walked slowly, but on the evening of July 25, after my mum and I watched a cookery show together, she went to freshen up and then destiny revealed itself, when my mum rushed to the bed gasping for breath and left us with my brother beside her without so much as a good-bye. The doctor said this was the right way to go rather than prolong life with medicines but to us her children I wish she had got herself checked, maybe she could have been with us longer.
On our recent trip to Uttarakhand; Ma with my brother and myself
I have learnt some lessons from my mother. She was fiercely independent never took any assistance from anyone, when I say assistance I mean even when my brother offered his hand on a potholed road or a pavement, she refused. “I am fine was her usual reply”. She believed in helping people without expecting anything in return, she said, “Remember Shilpi, it doesn’t matter if the people you help stab you in the back, there will be others who will turn up in your time of need”. I hope I have her will power, and am able to live up to her values and most important, am able to leave this world with my dignity and self respect intact just as my mum did.
Ma as a 13 year old (left), Ma and Dad (top right), Ma around 30 years (bottom right)
On my brother's birthday (top left); at Daulatabad Fort, Aurangabad (top right), picnicking at Vihar Lake (bottom left) and holidaying in Karnataka (bottom right) 



My parents were a made for each other couple, for both left the world in a similar fashion. On September 14, my dad's birth anniversary, I was planning to launch a blog cum website devoted to my father the late cine actor Tarun Bose. My mum was going to provide me with all the information and now I am not sure whether I will be able to launch the blog. I am just not in that frame of mind. I have done a series of guest posts on my father for the Bollywood blog, Memsaabstory. Here are the links to the posts:

 Tarun Bose (Part 1) 

  
Tarun Bose (Part 2): Silence is golden 


Tarun Bose (Part 3) : The soft-hearted villain

 

Tarun Bose (Part 4) : Dacoits and other strange experiences

 Tarun Bose (Part 5) : Favourite directors


 

Tarun Bose (Part 6): Sweet memories

 

I will post the recipe which was to be my 43rd post and which is still in my draft next time. 

Due to some problem with Blogger which I have not been able to figure out some of the text is showing up in capital letters.

 

 

 

 


29 comments:

  1. Very sad to hear abt your mom, it is a great loss and only time is the healer. May God give you and your brother strength to bear this big loss.

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  2. Shilpidi, am at loss of words. khub kasto pelam ei khaborta jene.erokom abisashyo bhabe chole jaoyata mene neoya khub khub kothin....ei shunyta konodino purno habar nay. bhagoban tomader shakto korun ei kamonai kori.

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  3. very sad to hear your lose, your mom seems like a nice person I feel very sad for you my friend may God help you and your family at these hard times take care Shilpi

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  4. Losing a mom is a great loss dear, no one can heal that pain, Let God give ur family the strength to face this situation.My prayers with u!

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  5. I am really sorry about your loss! I just can't imagine how you will be feeling!....I will keep you in my prayers!!

    No one can replace a MOM!

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  6. Extremely sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. Pray God gives you strength to overcome this loss. Also did not know that THE TARUN BOSE was your father. I am a fan of his. Gumnam is still my favourite movie. I am proud to be your blogger friend. Tomar maar jonno prarthana korchi.

    Deepa

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  7. I am so sorry to hear about your mom!! It is very difficult to loose a parent... I can only imagine how you must feel..My prayers are with you and your family....May God give you strength to cope with this great loss...

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  8. Once again, my heartfelt condolences, Shilpi. I cannot imagine what you must be going through right now, seeing as it all happened so fast. One moment, she's busy in the kitchen, the next she's no more. That's oh-so-cruel! What can we do? That's sometimes how cruel life is. It was the same with your dad too.

    I don't know if these words help at all - no amount of words can compensate for the loss of a mother - but I hope you find some solace at least in the thought that you have a lot of good friends who are there and will be there for you.

    Wishing you and your brother a lot of strength in this very difficult time for you.

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  9. Oh, Shilpi - I am so, SO sorry. Please do accept my condolences, both for you and for your brother and for those many others who, I'm sure, will miss your mum. I know I will, because though I've never met her (or you, for that matter), your blog has brought alive her passion and love of cooking. All those lovely little anecdotes of yours appended to the recipes she'd tried out... stay strong, my friend.

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  10. My condolences Shilpi. May her soul rest in peace.

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  11. very sad to heard about ur mom.i think she was very energtic and healthy lady so she does not require any medical help.may god give peace to her soul and courage to u .

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  12. khub i dukkho jonok ghotona.....jar upor diye jaye sei bojhe.....sudhu etuku i bolbo...kosto peo na....anonder din guli ke mone koro....aar nijeke samlao....tomar maa o tai chaiben...bhalo theko.

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  13. I am so sorry to hear about your mom!! It is very difficult to overcome this situation. Let God give u and ur family the strength to face this situation.

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  14. I am so sorry to hear about your mother .May her soul rest in peace .Tears ran down my eyes while reading this post .It is a great loss for you.May God give you lot of strength to face the situation

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  15. I was so looking forward to meeting her---but she is still alive, in you and your brother, and although it doesn't much comfort right now maybe, your hearts and memories.

    It's much harder for those left behind when it is sudden like this, but I think so much better for those who have gone. I watched my dad (and thus also my mother) suffer for a long time :( I think she sounds like she'd have picked this way, and was happy right up until the end. Surely she was lucky to have you two as her children and companions. If I can do anything from this distance to help, please let me know :( Hugs.

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  16. Thank you everybody I am overwhelmed by your kind words. Thanks to my computer conking off I was unable to reply earlier.

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  17. Shilpi - Am so sorry for your loss. I loved going through all your mother's wonderful recipes, tried out several too. And of course, loved the series you did on your father in memsaabstory.

    As others have said, they're both together at last and happily looking after you and your brother from up there. Take care. It's a very hard time....:-(

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  18. @Suhan: Thanks for the kind words.

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  19. Shilpi, I am so, so sorry to hear about your mother. It was so wonderful to read about her through her recipes. And thanks for posting the beautiful photos of her. She aged so well, and left the world so gracefully. May your brother and you find strength in her memories, and in each other. Take care.

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  20. Shilpi, I am so sorry...I thought something really cheerful is waiting for me when I clicked your blog but this news is really something I didn't expect here. You love your ma so much, even your blog title has "ma" in it! Shilpi, ami jani eta ekta boro loss, ma ke kokhono bhola jae na, ami bhulte bolchio na...but life has to move on...ontoto uni beshikkhon koshto paan ni...bhalo theko.

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  21. @Banno& Purabi: Thank you very much , trying desperately to come to terms with this loss.

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  22. Sorry to hear about the loss hope you find all the strength during these difficult times.You mom seems was very inspiring and was an excellent role model,she must have been very proud to have a daughter like you.

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  23. I am so sorry to hear about your mum, Shilpi. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers.

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  24. I saw your profile in my followers, came here and saw this. Hope you have the strength to live with this loss.

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  25. Shilpi, visiting your blog after ages....ei shocking news ta pore ki bolbo jaani na...May her soul rest in peace.

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  26. Shilpi, I came to your blog today for the first time after reading about your loss from one of your comments in another blog. It has been more than 20 years since my mother passed away and I still feel her loss, so I can fully understand your pain and sorrow. A mother is irreplaceable and all I can say is that only time can heal your grief, even though the void can never be filled. May God give you strength at this time, my friend! Your mother sounds a lot like my mother, judging from the pleasure she derived in cooking new dishes and serving them to you. Be brave, my friend, and some day I may be lucky enough to meet you and we can exchange stories about our mothers.

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  27. Hi Shilpi, I realised only later that your father is Late Tarun Bose... I was a kid when I watched Sujata..but his role as the fair and benevolent father of Sujata in the movie touched me so much and thereafter I always viewed him as Sujata's father... and a perfect gentleman... I am a big fan of his.... May the happy memories with your parents see you through this very difficult stage of coming to terms with your loss... I feel what we miss most is talking to them....

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  28. @Its a wonderful life: Thank you so much for your kind words.

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  29. I so sorry for your loss. Mom's are special and so are dads. i'm such a big fan of your dad's. i followed your post but somehow never connected you to him. he was a wonderful actor, i especially liked him in Anupama.

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